day one

i haven't noticed any mood change. maybe that's a good sign. got up feeling incredibly stoned this morning, though.

THIS IS CRAP.

drug number 1:

"Avoid alcohol and street drugs. They can trigger episodes and can also cause serious problems by interacting with your prescribed medications.

Stay on a regular sleep schedule. Lack of sleep can trigger an episode"

drug number 2:

"use caution in the morning when engaging in activities requiring complete alertness until you know how you will react to this medication."

drug number 3:
""
at least the kangaroos are somewhat cute, i suppose.

looks like the other ones are overdoseable. that must be why there were all of those suicide questions, to which i was particularly evasive. i hate that about myself. hopefully this shit will help--it had better, for this price.

the appointment

i got through a doctor's visit without having my nuts grabbed. seriously, it seems that more than once a year is excessive.

he seems to be hopeful that i can deal with this. i've got a bunch of drugs to go pick up at that 80s store. we're at that fun "experimental" stage with the drugs to see what's going to work. i should've tried to talk him into the fabulous barbituates/amphetamines cocktail, but perhaps the more modern, less dangerous drugs will work.

silly background sounds

i need it to loop better. it's just a little too choppy. the wav seems to work better than the mp3. the 4 kick drums and tons of echo are the real problem. i'll ponder that another time.

christ is risen

really, this morning's situation is more like myspace is no longer broken. i think that i fucked up my shit by changing my email address/deleting/opening the account. at least i can now surf it, and it doesn't freak out that i don't exist.

yesterday, i was fucking with echos and filters and got this little clip. i decided that i ought to stick some drums on there just for fun. i think that it gets too busy, especially since the noise isn't possible to sync to a clock--i had to eyeball it to 140 bpm. i'm not a techno fiend, that's for sure. i let the noise run for most of the day, just to agitate myself.

put on your surprised face--from the mighty tom murphy

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism. Satanism 100% atheism 100% Buddhism 79% Judaism 67% Paganism 67% agnosticism 50% Islam 42% Christianity 33% Hinduism 4% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

my father my king

this song is so much about the build. this is what i wanted two fiery eyes to be. we failed, i think. maybe if steve albini had recorded it, it would've been great.

still, i think that the live version that i witnessed at the bluebird was the best.

another strange dream

this ought to be a post scriptum to the content post below....

during my nap today, i dreamt that i totally wrecked a semi, or some big truck. it jumped off the pavement, and rolled, and i walked away, no problem. the weird part was that jenn ooton was the cop, and totally questioned me. i hope that she's doing alright. since that incident, i really just wanted to hide, and so, i have no idea what she's up to.

i'm certainly not obsessing, but i find it interesting that she turned up in a dream, unprovoked

completely content

i just broke out a bunch of shit from the mp3 archive. like jerm's greatest hits. seriously, i just realized that i have a lot of discs that i only like one track on. i did include can i, just because i haven't listened to my work recently. some of the tags are fuckeed. oh well, that's what happens when you steal shit from co-workers unbeknownst to them. i regularly scan other people's machines at work for audio. you never know what you'll find.

i did some noise today, and napped, and hung out with janette. her d o double gs like me much more than i dig them. they're nice dogs, though.

tomorrow is easter (christ is risen!) at mom's. i'm certain that she'll break out the bible, just to make us all roll our eyes. mahoney is still on his frog worship trip, so maybe he'll have something amuzing for us.

i bought an easter lily for mom. the cat seems into having a plant in the house. perhaps i need a cat friendly houseplant. bozzer used to eat my airplane plant, which turns out to be toxic.

speaking of toxic, i checked out my respirator today for breakage. i was somewhat concerned that it got trasheed at the grassy mountain (chillin' in a truck for 2 weeks). it seems groovy. i wanted to take a photo, but i can't locate ye olde webcam. i don't even know how silly i look in it.

i ought to attempt to sleep. this maniac shit sucks, because i know that in a couple of hours, i'll be up and aware. oh well...i'm having a hell of a good time. not drinking seems to foster the mania. i don't know that i totally dig the vibrating--it's not 440 or something cool, just really random.

erich is a pussy

he couldn't do the billiards and beer last night because he had a sore throat. mr. "incredible finish" had a sore throat?!? they wanted to watch dvds, but their netflix cue blows. erich DID say that the girl next door is coming up in the cue soon, though.

i picked up some firewater on the way home. i've been sleeping for 2 hours a night, and otherwise putzing around with synths, when i ought to be finalizing the new rock stuff. i have come up with really nifty textures, though. it's all very mystic moog, and thus, completely unlistenable to 99.9% of people. only das bruder seaton and the wull seem to get the appeal of textural music. and, wull is only sort of down with it.

yesterday, it was beautiful in cheyenne. <30 degrees but no "slightly breezy" cheyenne bullshit. i finally fixed the float switches in the water treatment system. seems to work beautifully. hopefully, no one else will be working on it. other people seem to break stuff.

i got the mighty taurus up to a sustained 115 on i-25. faster seemed sketchy to me. this particular car needed an alignment badly. i think that's pretty fast for a misaligned car in somewhat icy on overpasses conditions. it was aggressive driving-o- rama because i had to go to golden, aurora and back to boulder before heading home. i drive faster if i'm alone--with observers i generally drive like a grandparent. i need to get a faster personal vehicle badly.

monday is my big appointment (fucking finally!!!).

i called gann back (i'm back in town and willing to audition). still not sure that i have time to devote to rock. we'll see. i wish that i had a way to contact joe, because i'd love to play with him. gann has a beautiful voice, though. joe is enough of an cynical asshole, that i totally dig him. i ought to go out more, and hopefully run into the joe.

tomorrow is easter at mom's--hopefully i won't black out again. that was totally bad. vera filled me in on my antics, and i do not like getting that trasheed in front of the 'rents.

not a manic monday, more like a maniac thursday

and i think that my rabbi was the only witness. apparently, i telephoned him while he was chillin in a casino. the social distortion brought that call on.

basically, i suck at many parts of sampling, especially when candy ass people i'm with are cold. put on some clothes, bitches! (today i was wearing the plastic underwear)

i can only write so fast with a wet, diesel-infested permanent marker. a fucking felt tip pen, a magic marker!

but some of my railyard pals stopped to chit chat, which was super-cool. one gave me some sweet reflectorized gloves! now, it looks like i mean business in a yard.

i'm so so not looking forward to the cheyenne yard tomorrow. fucking snow and shit. plastic underwear, and brown clothes will be required.

the fucking cat

nitwit's new catch phrase is "fucking cat." i like to yell it at her randomly, just to watch her bug out her eyes. she's been particularly nice since her 2 week vacation. she's always nice, maybe friendly is a better word. "do you have cancer?" and "i've got a pussy" are my other things to say to the cat.

apparently, i'm sampling in denver tomorrow. i had to rent equipment and set up the lab jazz (which is usually done by someone that knows wtf is up with that stuff). that meant an agonizing 4:30 drive to aurora, and then an equally painful drive to arvada before going back to the office (7 p.m.) and labelling bottles. i sort of wanted to go to that show, but i'm far too agitated and tired now.

and i've got a tooth-clenching headache.

weird dreams

since i'm currently moderating the booze, i'm having (or remembering) lots of dreams, or, they're managing to wake me up a lot.

some of the last week's greatest hits are:

• i'm apparently unemployed, and live in a log cabin near a waterfall, and spend a lot of my time fishing;
• i have a beard;
• playing with the cloud, again, and i'm the only one that seems freaked out;
• hot sex with JM; and
• robots are coming to get me--like super-cheesy forbidden planet terminators.

excess baggage

i lost 10# in the desert. today's MO is to call some people, pick up the feline and finish the cleaning--it's impossible to do a decent vacuuming job with all of these synthesizer wires everywhere. might have to go to the rock stick mega house to locate a couple items that should help.

ome sweet ome.

i left the place a total disaster area. this afternoon's activities are cleaning and rocking the DK. i cued a bunch of old tunes up to entertain me whilst i clean.

lindsay quit. i told him that ken and jim weren't easy to deal with. i was right.

ha.

ha.

at last!

got on the 8 a.m. flight to the denver. :-)

still in slc...stuck

we finished up a day and a half early. wrecked the girly pacifica (hardly a suv--like a minivan with a hood). took the cave back. sent the seth (lindsay's replacement) back to sf.

all the flights to denver are overbooked, so we have to attempt standby tomorrow starting at 6 a.m. andrew and i are so tired of getting up and having to be functional so early.

the worst case situation is that we'll fly out at 6 p.m., like the ticket says.

i can't wait to get back in town. i've been on a music hiatus for 2 weeks--not listening to anything, and letting the sounds that i hear inside (the crowd, the authorities, the crying) keep me amused. so, i've got lots of collage ideas, and i'm pretty reluctant to call gann back. i'll see what the cameron-cool has planned for me before i even attempt to schedule a band, or a project that's going to require shows and such. i really need to get that one thing finished and sent back this weekend. i feel like i'm letting those guys down a lot. it's almost done, but i'm being a perfectionist.

i managed to injure my wrist somehow this week. i might have to wear one of my braces. i think that the injury is from writing too much. i filled one of those little yellow waterproof field notebooks with my field measurements. 100 and something wells, and equipment calibrations before each sample is pretty silly. like the conductivity meter is going to go berserk in five minutes...suddenly, the pH meter bursts into flames (actually, i did get a reading of -109.73, which made me laugh, since it didn't dissolve the gloves--that was a "recalibration situation").

i did deal with the regulators on tuesday successfully, though. it's so nerve-wracking to have someone standing over your shoulder taking notes--especially when they can bust you with a fine if you make a mistake. i don't like that at all, but that's what insurance is for. lame to have insurance against professional fuck-ups, but shit happens, so it's a must-have item.

phone blogging 101?

the geek coefficient of this is amazing.

the grassy mountain facility

today, we did a 12-hour, kick-ass sample-o-rama. might be able to get back home a day early.

seriously sampling wells.

the cave where i've been living for the last week. you can't see my "chemistry set," though.

west northwest

looking west, towards the facility. there's actually a bunker from which the first cruise missile launch was observed is just off to the right. maybe i'll get out there before the week is out.

looking southwest back towards the front gate

looking north, along the east side of the facility (one square mile)

the front gate/office

this really doesn't illustrate the desolation well.

salt lake city photos--top to bottom

our fearless leader, andrew, decided that we should get out of the desert for a couple of days, so we decided to see the sites in salt lake city. these are the photographic highlights. my apologies if the colors are queer--i'm working on the ghettoest laptop (totally taken out of the junk pile at work).

we saw the big, bad mormon temple, and almost got saved.

a so-called fountain--i wish that the mighty largan (free) camera was sweeter. some of these are totally off-kilter.

we checked out a pretty nifty organ.

strange fake flowers on the ceiling makes me think that this is a bad trip. check out those two art bell orbs!

this was supposed to be cooler.

lindsay (the other dude i'm working with) knew of some weird sculptures in someone's back yard--supposed to be weird shit, so he asked these honda-propping old people where they were. it turns out that the city now owns it, and it's a creepy park just around the corner.

this is a self-portrait of the dude that did all this stuff, thomas child. lindsay told us that he was thrown out of the church, supposedly, but the city seems to have put a pretty lds slant on the whole deal. one of the important artistic innovations was child's use of oxyacetylene torches to sculpt with. FIRE! FIRE!

some of it was cool rocks, but there was some weird shit, too.

the captain with a rock head.

this is ol' joe smith's face on a sphinx.

i liked this.

probably the strangest thing in the garden was this. it is what it is--picked flowers and rocks.

the super center for hazardous waste

this is pretty funny to me right now because i'm working at the grassy mountain facility for another week. i'll have photos up here soon. totally desolate.

it's nice being relatively out of touch. i checked my email and only had a couple messages of the 35 new that i actually care about.

only two calls this week. one from janette and one from gann of all people. maybe good news, i don't want to get too excited yet.

wendover nevada sucks. i did make $10 buying a pack of cigarettes, though. the hotel fools were too incompetent to use my last name, instead checking me in as jeremy hennessy. and they refused to change my name, even though i had more than enough identification for authentication.

tonight, i'm chillin' in slc (punk), with a lame lame computer. i want to continue reading this novel, though.

telephone email is hilarious.

clipboard man rides again!

the loose ends

i know that i'm forgetting something before my nevada/utah "vacation." it's not like i'll just be able to buy something, either.

still trying to figure out if prositutes can be an expense report item.

11-15 hour days (4am-7pm) of actual, real, work in the desert ought to be really fun. i ought to have some photos from this trip.

mad java-ing skills not required

i finally got the currently rocking part in the sidebar. that's over there ------>

so, now everyone can see what my winamp is playing...or last played, if i happen to not be around. i think that you'll find that i mostly listen to albums, and avoid shuffling.

this blogamp isn't exactly as elegant as i would like it...i hate advertising, and i don't think that the bit rate is needed. i'd better get to tagging my music, though...another time.

State lawmaker wants to allow Ten Commandments to be displayed

this bothers me because i shouldn't care.

am i required to be force fed the ten commandments?

in the land of jeremy, there is no god to tell me how to behave.

synth programming 101 and swans

the k2000 is particularly deep--layers, setups, programs, keymaps. i figured that it would be most helpful to just build one up to understand the structure. since i'm on version 1.30, i really need to do that OS upgrade. that ought to help with some of the convoluted stuff.

swans at dawn is the plan today. there's nothing quite as satisfying as children of god at 5am. i need one of those "now rocking out to" icon thingys.

and the brawl is on

the old guy didn't have a stroke, but he's pissed.

it turns out that she invited her other step-brothers, but told them not to tell dad.

and...those two didn't.

the old guy will have a stroke

my latest rumor from work, of all places, is that brendan is getting married, and didn't even bother to tell her father. this will upset him, but at least he won't be paying for a wedding. it seems rather rude, though.

i'm considering a second job, since i don't have much going on.

another upcoming release--super cool