there's nothing like slayer to get your morning started right. i got up at 4 this morning and decided that south of heaven would be a suitable soundtrack to my morning routine. it was almost as good as "spirit of the radio," but that's more of a sunny summer morning song. south of heaven is great for a mucky autumn october morning like today.



last night i watched angela's ashes. i still don't understand where the title comes from. i should have read the book when it came out, but there's nothing more depressing than irish historic stuff. that is a seriously fucked up country. i think that the church is mostly to blame.



work work work. busy.

today was a recovery day...and the onset of a mild case of psd. luckily, i slept most of the day, so i haven't been impacted.



i've been having a lot of strange dreams though. mostly strange sexual ones in which all of the sex is implied. they're very non-linear, although most of my dreams aren't. usually, my dreams are so linear that i could be awake.



today, i began my rebuild of the electric grandmother jr. this should be a bad ass once it's done. i'm somewhat curious about the date code inside it. i'm taking an entirely wild guess that this is a 67. it's too bad that i got rid of that 66 bassman. this would match it perfectly. the peavey, though sounds awesome. last night i had a real john paul jones thing going on. i had been turning my distortion blend down as of late, but decided that i could use it. it was beautifully blurry.



i think that i'll feel better once i eat something. i'm dreading work tomorrow. grumble grumble grumble.

man. i have a splitting headache. i haven't had a plain-jane headache for a long time. usually, they're just hangovers.



tonight, we're again playing the climax lounge, as 'the rosicrucians.' i suppose that's a pretty cool name, although that philosophy is way out there. it seems sort of disjointed to me. it's very much something that should be on art bell. i've been pouring through the literature. i think that it'll go well with the satanic flyers.



we're playing this bookstore deal on the 15th with the dinnermints. the bald midget and egghead really wanted to do it. ross was sort of indifferent, and i'm against shows that don't have a positive booze coefficiant. luckily, drinking is not only allowed at this deal, it's encouraged. this almost sounds like some sort of weird deal, but hopefully the dinnermints will bring some people in. i'm doing up the baphomet flyer once the lineup is firm. sparkles (hardcore lameos) aren't playing it, which improves my outlook on the show, since i can't really see their crowd being into us at all. maybe i'm wrong.



today, i watched hellraiser: hellseeker. this is the sixth movie in the series, and i never tire of watching them. i still think that III was the best of the sequels. i think that the wwi imagery is really spooky. whenever i watch those movies, or read about trench warfare, i wonder about humanity. my great grandfather was a cannoneer. i can't imagine what it must have been like. actually, i own a springfield that dates from 1915. it's a beautiful rifle. apparently, they would shoot so much, the service life was very short--it seems like it was a couple of weeks or something, i could be wrong. the 30-06 is a brutal cartridge to shoot that much in a bolt action. machine guns. mustard gas. flechettes. it's all very frightening to me.



grumble. i better start getting ready. i get to help andrew move gear. tonight, i'm going to attempt to pick up that new cab. it needs some work, but fuck, man, it's free! more power. hee hee hee.

it does seem wrong to censor myself, though.

okay, maybe not weeks. just overnight. i feel much better after some rest. i wish that person hadn't done that. it's kind of a bummer that i always pick friends that are inconsiderate/untrustworthy (although this really isn't a trustworthiness issue). this was far too public for that.



man, i need to get some graphics going here.



i won't be broken hearted, just more careful.

sometimes i think that my so-called friends are real assholes. or, that they just are completely inconsiderate.



it's really just a karmic thing, though, dude. i pretty much deserve it, i suppose. i'm sure that i've done something. i always do.



grrrr. i'm going to be livid about this for weeks. i should just close everyone out. that could be enjoyable. maybe just a pleasant change.



there are times when any social interaction is repulsive to me.

one thing that's good about the winter is that you can set beer in the back yard to cool off.



it was fucking snowing in boulder when i left work. i was disgusted with the weather. almost as disgusted as i am with my attitude. i was thinking about my new seasonal affective theory. i think that it has more to do with olfactory stuff than the lack of light. it would be a fun experiment to do. unfortunately, you can't really experiment on people like you could in the good old days. it would have been fun to be a psychologist back in the day, when you could design experiments that would surely give someone ptsd. i think that this memory thing might really have something to do with things. i wonder if something happened to me in the fall. i can't think of anything off the top of my head. shit. erich was born. that's huge. unfortunately, he had to be born in october. i'll bet that there's something there. maybe that's why i start freaking at the begining of fall. hmmmm. i don't recall being terribly thrilled about getting a little brother. i wasn't opposed to the idea--just indifferent. actually, i don't even remember my parents ever telling me that i was going to have a little brother/sister. i remember being surprised by the whole situation. all of a sudden, i had this alledged brother, who i couldn't even see because he was incubated. i remember that he was disgusting. that's also about the time that i started fucking stuffed animals, wearing makeup, and dresses and crap. i wonder if i was acting out, looking for attention. hmmmm. interesting stuff.



i'm glad that i have erich, though. he's pretty entertaining, and has proved useful many times.

i can't believe that i'm here shrinking myself. maybe i need to stay medicated until, say, december.

billy gibbons single-handedly wrecked texas blues in the 80s. it's really sad, because he can really play. zz top was just way too pop. great pop songs. i could do without the pinch harmonics around every corner. at least he doesn't have the zack wylde compression going on.

i wish that some people wouldn't use a condescending tone with me about things. that goes for work, rock...everywhere.



maybe i take things too seriously. i have been accused of that.

so i'm really down. i think that this could be for a few different reasons:



1) the weather has been crummy. maybe seasonal affective disorder. i think that it's been a problem since i was little, and started acting like a fool in the fall. it might also have something to do with autumn, and smells and the associated memory triggers.



2) i'm coming down, so to speak from playing two shows. it's like bertrand says. i'm fine with excitement until i'm deprived of it. maybe that's why i'm so burnt after shows. it's seriously like coming down from cocaine.



3) i think that i'm worrying too much about money. i always do that.



4) i think that i'm worrying too much about being alone. but, oddly, i push people away. i think that i'm just looking for something to bitch about.



5) maybe i'm an alcoholic. this always happens after a good weekend binge.

man, i feel like a woman.



not really.



i'm really still haven't really made up my mind on what to think of shania twain. she certainly is nice to look at. the sound is so slick. oddly, it's produced by a rock producer. i suppose that nashville isn't the only place that makes slick sounding pop records. i think that it's all about the major labels. they can make anything sound totally homogenized.



i do like the big fiddle section, though. i don't think that i've ever noticed how panned things were in the stereo field, especially the guitars. maybe that's the secret to huge sound. put the drums in a reasonable stereo, bass in the middle, pedal steel slightly off center left, leads slightly off center right, fiddles spread (lots of reverb), and pan the rythym guitars hard left and right. They like to pan the pedal steel across. that's kind of spooky lots of reverb.



we need a pedal steel player. maybe someone to play theremin, glockenspiel, pedal steel. that would be a fun job. maybe a super cute teenage girl. we could dress her up all slutty. we've got andrew "babe magnate" warner, so we need to compliment that.



supposedly, that girl, W, is into andrew. i don't know. i wish that i could have a reasonable conversation with her. more than getting to know you chit chat. i wish that i knew what the deal was. my rabbi seemed to think that i hit it off with her. mary always gives me a hard time, because i was dumb enough to tell her about my crush. i suck. she does seem like she's a super cool chick. probably too cool for me.



jesus. in 48 hours i'm going to have to be a rock star. as much as i like performance, this is really freaking me out. i think that it's 'first show jitters.' everyone else seems confident. i'm not. i have to put on a good show, though. fighting this is not a good idea. i think that i'm going to have to have a stiff drink beforehand. maybe something else stiff--ross would oblige (goddam faggot) me. i'm kidding. i know that you're reading this, buddy. andrew states is a fuck. even more than the egghead.



this really is a slick record. i'd really like to see shania naked (musically speaking) with a 3-4 piece band. would the material hold up? i think that the song writing would. much like ross' tunes. great song writing is what determines whether you can pull shit off regardless of instrumentation.



great song writing is very formulaic, though, which is funny. i suppose that it really only applies to "songs," as opposed to instrumental stuff, although a lot of good instrumental stuff can be done with 4-5 parts. Example: the ventures. shit, a lot of surf music.



we need an accordian player.



my good friend jim beam just started to really impact me with his conversation. we've been talking all night, but i just noticed.



i need to burn this for ross. it has the same slickness of graceland. i think us geurrilla recorders can get a lot of ideas listening to crap like king crimson, pink floyd, beetles, and a lot of pop music.



that's what shania twain, and most all of the bullshit that comes out of nashville is.



we should configure our image to be outlaw country. or not. i like the blue collar image that we're projecting. i really don't want to have to project an iimage. red cloud is regular music, played by regular guys, for regular people. i suppose that we could wear derbies. or capes. that would go with the flyers.



holy shit. i'm drunk.



i wonder what the schedule is on friday. i need to time my inebriation. and, i want to get a few games of martian attack (or whatever it is) beforehand. i'm stoked that we have that game a stones throw from the stage. ross will be surprised (maybe not, now that i've spilled the shit).



he says that he's going to play me. he can play with my nuts. jeeze. did i say that out loud? ha...



maybe i am a fag. actually, i had a HUGE conversation at work about that very subject today. i was talking to janette (who's totally cool and a lesbian--a far cry from those death threat dikes from a couple of years ago). i asked her, very matter of factly, when she "knew." she was a little surprised, because that's the sor tof thing that she said that "we girls" talk about. i actually have a great interest in the nature/nurture thing. Janette is interesting because her sister, amber is also gay, completely independently from janette. niether of them knew that the other was gay. that's weird. she says that she knew at about age eight. (that's a funny looking word) she found out that amber was gay after finding her in bed with a woman when amber was thirteen. how weird would that be?? their mother blamed janette for amber's queerness.



why do i find gay women attractive? i'm a moron, that's why. maybe because we have something in common, we like women. i don't know. i've been thinking about that. it's not the "hot lesbian action" that does it for me. i think that it's a common interest.

jesus. i'm a little drunk.



mogwai fear satan has new meaning. (who's playing the flute???)



this rocks. (from radio 1190's homepage 10-15-2002) i've been harassing those people. i heard us mentioned on the radio today, too. what a rush. nothing's better than getting in your car after work on a friday, starting it up, and your music is coming out of the radio, though. that's one thing that see cities did for me. that was such a great feeling. i did a double take, because i thought that i had left a tape in. i wish that we weren't all being so distant from each other.







looks like we're playing the climax on saturday. some joint in fort collins is looking good for the next weekend. ross will make me a musician yet.

tonight, i've got the four food groups going on while i fix my resume and find a new job.



1) cheeseburgers (4)

2) bourbon (1 liter)

3) coca-cola (six pack)

4) newport 100s (a pack of smokes +/- 5)



music? mogwai, of course.



i had a really crappy afternoon at work, because it often feels like the right and left hands aren't talking to each other at cameron-cole. actually, it's like the right hand is trying to sneak up on the left hand, and cut it off.



i decided that the do make say think show was a really bad idea, because i'd just get more stressed out about crap. actually, i forgot about the show until this afternoon. oh well. hopefully, chris is having fun. i've been too wrapped up with stuff to think about going to rock shows.



i came home from work completely distrought. i chatted with jessica, which helped a little bit. she could tell that something was bothering me. i was stunned. i thought that a nap might help, but i just layed there, agonizing.



i decided that i should get out of bed and do something about it. i lined up two good references, fixed my resume. reactivated the monster one, updated it. now, looking for jobs that will suit me. i'd feel bad if i had to move away, though. ross would be so disappointed because that always happens to him. i think that he'd understand. he knows how unhappy i am with my current situation(s).

shit... i'm so tired. rock was too cool tonight. i wish that it was as interesting every time. actually being able to do some jamming with ross and not having the music nazi say "that notes wrong."



fuck him, man. what a narrow minded dweeb.



jesus. that's harsh.



we did a sort of ambient thing, that was really cool, but i was having and out of body experience, and couldn't continue playing. something was getting to me in a really good way. we tried to reprise it, but it wasn't the same. we should record our practices. ross and i did a sort of bluegrass deal, too. it felt really good. i wonder if he's ever thought about using a compressor. might even shit out a little more, but it would take away a lot of dynamics. i'm still thinking that they're a crutch for live performance. i don't know, though. gilmour uses like 6 of those old dyna comps wired into his rack. he's a freak, though.



must....sleep. too much rock tonight....can't type.....

i'm an idiot. i can't figure out the difference between username and email.



ha. i heard from seaton. i feel so much better knowing that he's okay.



today, i meandered through denver. the autumn is so nice. the smell of the air, the warmth of my favorite flannel shirt as it abosorbs the light which shines between the buildings. i picked up a mogwai cd for one dollar at the record store. ross fed me two(!) sandwiches. we also got to bitch a little bit about the current personnel situation. ross gave me a disc to encode and upload to mp3.com. having a name like red cloud is difficult. i screwed up, and now have three different interations of the name. ross likes 'ross etherton & red cloud.' i think that i removed the space in red cloud for space constraints. at least it won't be confused. red KKK loud is as close to confusion as it could get.



so, now i'm part of the backing band. that suits me just fine. i hope that i get to contribute some material, though. i won't be heartbroken if i don't. ross is a great songwriter. if i just do bass parts, that's cool, too. i feel very free with not writing. i get the chords, and try to feel the general vibe, and have fun. unfortunately, the thunderbroom is really dominant, so i really get to steer things a lot. is it a e, or a b+4?? i trust that they'll say something if they don't dig it.



next time, we'll do this uploading at ross "broadband"'s house. this is pretty silly. who'd have thought that a 4 minute song would take so long. and i uploaded a few of the see cities live tracks dial up?? i must've been drunk.



i'm thinking that i need to get a disposable camera for vero. she did a nice job of shooting see cities at the tavern.



crap. i need to find out if there are guest list spots that i can use for them. i'll ask tighty next time i talk to him.



the mogwai disc is pretty good, even if it is relatively lo-fi. (side note--some jackass on 1190 was saying low-fee. he said it several times. and it wasn't the guy who hosts the funk show, not knowing who parliment was!!!!)



until earthlink decides that i'm evil....



http://home.earthlink.net/~jermziehe/carwreckformp3.mp3 this is a big-ass file.

the last few days have been somewhat crazy. it looks like my partner in crime, the albino rhino, is quitting, so i'm going to have more crap to do at work. he gets most of the fun jobs, though, so maybe it won't be that bad.



i need to get on the ball as far as my resume goes. today i just hung out in bed.



tonight, getting drunk and making more flyers. hee hee hee.



i figure that i should have several designs ready to go, just in case.

today, i had a slow day at work, since most of the day i wasted entering potential clients into my marketing database. it seems like everyone in our office is at the railroad industry environmental conference in illinois.



besides database junk, i:



fixed my resume up--i hadn't updated it for a year.



read up on hematospermia -- it's back, man. it looks like it might be a blood pressure deal, or unnessecary roughness. no big deal.



i did a flyer for our upcoming show--since rock and roll is the devil's music, it only seems appropriate. i figure that since grunge killed metal, someone has to revive the satanic metal guy image. it might as well be us, the most polite band ever. the jpg doesn't seem to do it justice, though. pdf is where it's at.

dammit. i would've sworn that i had posted something earlier today.



feelings i hate:



feeling like i waste my weekends horribly.



feeling like people are avoiding me, and not knowing why.



today i watched lolita. i really liked it, but i think that i liked it for deplorable reasons.



tomorrow, back to the grind. it looks like dr. krut needs me to email something to someone. why she doesn't just email it herself is beyond me. i believe that it's a 30 meg pdf that i did for her last week. it's really unfortunate that i'll have to cut it up AND zip it to get it to this person. oh well...



i'm feeling sick. i can't spare any time off though. i'll need that in january, i'm sure.

there are six squirrels eating acorns in my back yard.



listening a a record that really makes me happy. that can't be beat. and...it's danceable. ha ha.



i treasure my weekends. i do seem to waste them, laying around, listening to records. i bought erich a birthday present. i wrapped it in princess paper. i went all out and got a strange card too.



i had nightmares (napmares) this after noon about car wrecks. i had lost my leg, and was pinned in the twisted metal wreck. oddly, i didn't pass out from blood loss. must've only been a flesh wound. anyway, they jaws of lifed my leg out of the wreck, and promptly took it to the hospital. i was screaming for help, but they didn't react.



so i woke up.



i wouldn't call it a lucid dream. just a logical one. i get very wrapped up in the happenings of my dreams, but don't control them, just deal with them in a rational way.



i wish that dealing with real crap was as easy. really, though, it is. just don't worry about anything that doesn't directly impact me. that's a pretty good plan.



so, jh is going to play 156 with us. that's a relief. i won't have to play chords.



i should check the papers to see if we've moved up in the ads. i want one for my scrap book in the biggest print possible. i wonder if i should flyer this week. campus would be easy. i'll call ross...

yessterday's practice went well. as ususal, i felt all out of place. i had lost my sercurity blanket. i found it this morning. i'm going to transfer the shit to something besides a sheet of paper.



i'm so damn bored. today, i need to go find erich something for his birthday. luckily, he's really easy to shop for.



i've masturbated 3 times this morning. i'm having a hard time getting productive. maybe one more time, just to be safe.



i hae to watch movies with erich and vera tonight. hopfully, it'll be something good



ross is a funny guy. that "why is jason heller's penis in my feces?" bit is too funny.

jason is totally socially inept.

andrew is a really cool cat. niether of us like neil young.

chas seems to be really into school. that's so awesome. everytime i get to chat with her, i envy ross. that makes me a horrible person.

i can't even remember what i was going to type...

fucking beer is back to regular price. grumble. still, i can live with $6.99.



jason heller is a putz. i really think that he must be embarassed or something. i can't believe that we're being ditched for his other so-called band.



the way i see it, we have three options:



1) play the show as a three piece, and fuck heller. i wouldn't even throw him out of the band, just be dicks to him until he leaves.

2) replace him. we know a lot of guitar players, some of them are pretty good. greg knows the material, basically. chris seaton is an amazing guitarist, and i know that he'd play interesting parts. he'd catch on in ten minutes. he'd show up, too. erich said that he'd do it. erich would take 20 minutes. he'd probably add a metal guy edge to things that wouldn't fit. i still think that we ought to track down matt winkleman. we could kidnap him. just roof him at a bar, and drag him back to colorado a couple of days before the show. matt would have no idea that he'd ever left portland. seriously, though, he seemed like a pleasant enough guy, but had that andy bryzki stoner thing happening--just impossible to get anything productive done. unfortunately, most of the banjo players that i've worked with are real fuckers. well, they're usually nice anough, but can't manage to show up, and when they are, they're fucked up. most of them are following string cheese, i think. or, so smacked out that they're worthless.

3) don't play the show. go to the bluebird to see jason's band, and throw feces at him. that might fuck with him. we could wear disguises. he'd never know it was us. i mean, seriously, a tall groucho, a fat groucho, and a bald midget groucho. that's rad.



new t-shirt for after the "i don't hate you because you're beautiful, i hate you because you're a mexican (chinese nigger)" shirt, for ross.



"you must be this tall to ride this ride -->"

i must give jessica credit for that one. i think that it's great for tall folks.



where'd i put those t-shirt transfers? i'm sure that i still have some.



i'm thinking that red cloud needs a web presence, especially if we get some records done. i'm thinking red cloud--some post-apocoliptic nit-wit country band. like hank williams and neil young meet mad max and godzilla at an emo show in the nevada desert. i think that red cloud is h bomb clouds. i've been looking into domain hosting, but right now, we've got bigger fish to fry.



tonight, i'm listening to static age. i'm stoked that this got re-released. the misfits changed my life. before them, all i listened to was bach and beethoven. i couldn't believe that such a great band would ever break up. i was ten, give me a break. danzig era misfits must have been something to witness. i do have that super-8 from 1983. that's classic. i should get a rick bass, and turn up the distortion. ross would kill me. i love that head, though. any bass head with fuzz fucking ROCKS. jerry only is pretty much an idiot for creating the new misfits. it's like kicking a porqupine barefoot, man. turn the page.



witness this insanity:



Richard Nixon ordered the FBI to illegally monitor John Lennon 24-hours a day for six solid months in 1971 because Lennon had given a concert in Michigan to free a student (John Sinclair) from five years in jail for possession of two joints.





Clippy is meant to help you with suggestions and tips while you work. But like many ideas from the Microsoft marketing department, this one is considered by many to be a persistent nuisance.



i think that there's a resemblance there. maybe i'm wrong, but i think that i'm right. Email me about this.

fucking beer is back to regular price. grumble. still, i can live with $6.99.

jason heller is a putz. i really think that he must be embarrassed or something. i can't believe that we're being ditched for his other so-called band.

the way i see it, we have three options:

1) play the show as a three piece, and fuck heller. i wouldn't even throw him out of the band, just be dicks to him until he leaves.
2) replace him. we know a lot of guitar players, some of them are pretty good. greg knows the material, basically. chris seaton is an amazing guitarist, and i know that he'd play interesting parts. he'd catch on in ten minutes. he'd show up, too. erich said that he'd do it. erich would take 20 minutes. he'd probably add a metal guy edge to things that wouldn't fit. i still think that we ought to track down matt winkleman. we could kidnap him. just roof him at a bar, and drag him back to colorado a couple of days before the show. matt would have no idea that he'd ever left portland. seriously, though, he seemed like a pleasant enough guy, but had that andy bryzki stoner thing happening--just impossible to get anything productive done. unfortunately, most of the banjo players that i've worked with are real fuckers. well, they're usually nice anough, but can't manage to show up, and when they are, they're fucked up. most of them are following string cheese, i think. or, so smacked out that they're worthless.
3) don't play the show. go to the bluebird to see jason's band, and throw feces at him. that might fuck with him. we could wear disguises. he'd never know it was us. i mean, seriously, a tall groucho, a fat groucho, and a bald midget groucho. that's rad.

new t-shirt for after the "i don't hate you because you're beautiful, i hate you because you're a mexican (chinese nigger)" shirt, for ross.

"you must be this tall to ride this ride -->"
i must give jessica credit for that one. i think that it's great for tall folks.

where'd i put those t-shirt transfers? i'm sure that i still have some.

i'm thinking that red cloud needs a web presence, especially if we get some records done. i'm thinking red cloud--some post-apocoliptic nit-wit country band. like hank williams and neil young meet mad max and godzilla at an emo show in the nevada desert. i think that red cloud is h bomb clouds. i've been looking into domain hosting, but right now, we've got bigger fish to fry.

tonight, i'm listening to static age. i'm stoked that this got re-released. the misfits changed my life. before them, all i listened to was bach and beethoven. i couldn't believe that such a great band would ever break up. i was ten, give me a break. danzig era misfits must have been something to witness. i do have that super-8 from 1983. that's classic. i should get a rick bass, and turn up the distortion. ross would kill me. i love that head, though. any bass head with fuzz fucking ROCKS. jerry only is pretty much an idiot for creating the new misfits. it's like kicking a porqupine barefoot, man. turn the page.

witness this insanity:

Richard Nixon ordered the FBI to illegally monitor John Lennon 24-hours a day for six solid months in 1971 because Lennon had given a concert in Michigan to free a student (John Sinclair) from five years in jail for possession of two joints.


Clippy is meant to help you with suggestions and tips while you work. But like many ideas from the Microsoft marketing department, this one is considered by many to be a persistent nuisance.

i think that there's a resemblance there. maybe i'm wrong, but i think that i'm right. Email me about this.

$5.99 for a 12 pack of henry weinhard's -- that's an offer to good to refuse. i mean, you can't even buy 40s that cheap!



today, i worked 12.5 hours. being marketing man really sucks sometimes, especially when i've been waiting since 7 am for something that finally gets to me at 16:30. it's ridiculous. of course, the person who told me that she'd have this thing done on friday, has escaped to montana. i need a vacation too, dudes!



tonight, listening to peaceful music:



lou reed - berlin

angels of light - new mother

smog - dongs of sevotion



i can't wait to play some rock on thursday. i really need that outlet. it's very exciting that we're in the onion. it's funny that i evaluate how big we are based on the font size. we're not as big as pedro the lion, but bigger than against tomorrow's sky (dorks!).



i've been thinking about taking the fretless plunge. wull said that it wasn't too terribly difficult. you have to remember, though that this kid played bass in high school orchestra (before they threw his ass out). it's really a totally different instrument, though. i have to find a 4 string with a p-j configuration fretless or otherwise, so that i can drop these emgs in it. i'm thinking that a used fretless precision could be found with that configuration cheap (no demand for fretless). also, i've been thinking about gutting the bottom of the grandmother to put in an 18, or at least a 15. that way i'd have one beasty cab that i could get some versatility from for recording, or live. i prefer the big speakers for recording, because i can get some real rumble down low. the small speakers definately are easier to hear over the guitars though live. they scare andrew, and drown out the drums. maybe he needs to quit using his shrapnel sticks if i'm going to go with the new "bass has to be fuckin' loud" sound of red cloud.



enough of the gear head ponderings.



i'm not even getting drunk. more beer!



that's the problem with beer--it just doesn't fuck you up fast enough. maybe i should go back to the dr. vodkas. i've got too much self respect at this point, though. waking up drunk, after a good black out just sucks, though. as it is, i drank 16 beers on friday night, and can't remember much after 7 o'clock. i know that i was on the web, probably sending out email, but it couldn't have been anything good--i didn't have access to my obscene self portraits, or drunken movies.



i'm pretty much glad that i quit getting high all the time, though--that shit'll job you of your ambition--even if your ambition is to get high and watch TV. sometimes, though i'd like to do some psychedelics sometime. maybe some mushrooms. the one time that i did those, i gagged down an eighth of them with matt preston. we actually broke down and bought mushrooms after we couldn't get a quarter of pot. the mushrooms were $60 a quater, it seems. i never expected them to actually be so dry. it was like eating a pizza crust that was several days old (not that i know what that's all about). we started our journey from canyon park to matt's house, in palo park.



we were tripping our asses off by the time we got to valmont and 19th. i suppose that it's a different name there, but it's basically valmont. we walk and toked the last of our weed between valmont and iris (in front of a parked cruiser). proceeding to matt's house, we encountered nude women in a swimming pool. that was totally erotic. it was like some porno, really. we were too shy to swim with them, even though they were very tempting. we just watched them. that's really the majority of what i can remember, besides that it was very much like taking LSD with malt liquor.



LSD is such a harsh ride, though. if you're doing enough, you become used to it, so you can really enjoy it. i don't think that most people do it enough--consistently, night after night. shit. i lost that train of thought. that's what happens when you're distracted by a phone call.



i just talked on the phone to an amazing girl. she's sort of giggly, but that's all right. that was ms. jessica from seattle. she managed to keep me on the phone so long that i killed the radio phone. she really has a lovely voice. she sort of reminds me of k.m. on the phone, but not enough to be upsetting. i really, really want to meet her now. this internet deal is too weird, considering that it was the downfall of my last real relationship. i really think that she'll be appalled by me in person, but i'm used to that. if only she knew that i'm a big fan of alt.binaries.erotica.pictures.redheads. i really couldn't tell at first, though, because her profile picture was of her wearing a hat, wearing sunglasses. she matched the 'rush' keyword search. who'd have thought that canadian prog rock would lead me to such a beautiful creature?



ross the boss wants to get up her way touring since "those kids need some cunt-ry." we're so NOT country, though. i'm interested to see how we go over live. i think that it'll go okay, since i fell in love with ross' music after playing a show with him. i think that winkleman added a cooler vibe than jason, man. jason's a way better player, though. ross says the matt was drunk all the time. i'll bet that we'd get along great. my one cogent coversation with matt: "dude. i'm a totally old school space rocker. we'll mix it up with a bunch of pedals...." that's better than i did with chris. that dude was fucked. "those guys at the circle k were joking around. i really like it when people joke around." this shit was unprompted. chris could definately play guitar like a lunatic, and in last man on the moon, he could play drums suficiently, but he needed to be medicated. i almost wish that i could have gotten a few more opportunities to chat with him. surely, he's not as fucked as i think that he is.



shit. 9 beers and counting. think that i should go to bed. got to become marketing man in 8 hours.