looks like the space invader graphic is gone. that sucks.



work has gotten more chaotic than usual. i don't think that the other folks in my group are into working at all.



played last night with red cloud. everything is really coming together well there. it's going to be a blues/folk/indie/country sort of thing, which should be a refreshing change of pace for me. it appears that rawz has a show at the tavern booked, but i haven't asked for huge details, because he thinks that it's a couple of weeks out still. he might do it solo, or with just bass accompaniment. it all depends on how with it we are when the time is here. i'd like to do it. i should be comfortable with the material by then.

last night i went out with wull. it's always fun to hang out with my baby brother. we played some video games and pool on the worst table in colorado. it was quite obvious that i sucked, and that the table wasn't close to level. he kicked my ass twice, but scratched on the eight. i've lost every pool playing bone in my body. i don't think that my eyes are working right. hopefully, this new set o' glasses will fix the monocular vision that i've apparently been dealing with for the last year.



what's really fucked about work is that the whole marketing plan (going to meet potential clients, doing a presentation) is based on my inability to put together a powerpoint presentation. i hope that we get some work out of my efforts, so i don't feel like i'm wasting everyone's time.



but that's what i do. not only at work, but everywhere. i'm like some sort of black hole.



trying to put pictures into black and white from jpegs sucks when you only have the queer demo of photoshop. i should put on my eyepatch at work someday when i'm sitting around looking for a mail order bride online.



today, i let it be known that i'd like a transfer to a different office. there's really not any good reason to stay in boulder. i bet i can get out of here soon. i can actually do my work from anywhere, and the boulder office is such a drag. everyone's always playing these games with each other--moving people's offices accross the building, 'downgrading' someone into a windowsless office. and why can't those people figure out that the envelopes are near the postage machine? fucking morons.



i saw the new austin powers movie this weekend. two thumbs up for it. it's not as good as the second movie, but it was alright. as a bonus, a cute teen-aged grrrl decided to flirt with me. i flirted back, and got a kiss and some breast. no digits, no strings. fucking beautiful. i had to be really sneaky and hide out in the bathroom to get away post-cine. i hope that i don't run into her again. maybe i'll grow a beard as a disguise. yeah, that's really mature, isn't it? i don't feel bad about it because it was totally meaningless fun to both of us, i hope.



it was strange to kiss someone again, though, like it was the first time, with amber lohr, after walking her home from school at her house.



that was a really stupid maneuver, breaking up with her the way i did. i often wonder how her life has turned out. she was entirely innocent; totally trusting, but i had to corrupt her, use her, turn her friends against her, turn her parents against her. and then i just moved on. that still hurts. why did i do that? there has to be a reason. one would think that i'd have turned the page (that was 12 years ago). i still agonize about her. that was a really fucked up period in my life, with everything spinning out of control. i wish that i hadn't taken things out on her. i hope that i can find a so-called normal relationship some day. what does that mean? fighting all the time? i don't know....



i bet that christ would have an interesting perspective. maybe i'll get to talk to him sometime sans his myspooky® once he gets back from his new york trip.

today i've basically wasted the entire day playing tempest. oh well. it's not like i had anything responsible to do.



the evil ex-girlfriend is pregnant. she called me terrified today. thing of it is, i don't understand why she's afraid. she's gotten herself into this dilemma. she's the only one working, blah blah blah. i tried to pretend to be supportive instead of telling her what i really thought.



those two are so irresponsible.



i guess being alone isn't so bad. i can just play video games.



tomorrow, i have to be mr. responsible, though. sometimes my job gets on my nerves a lot. at least i got all of the invoicing done for the railroad on friday, so that's not looming.



no huge plans have materialized for the week. last week's lunacy was pretty rough. christ wants me to go with him to a show on tuesday. i must admit that i'd like to go, but i've got red cloud obligations to fulfill. i'd rather play music than go see someone play music.



i wonder if his myspooky® will be in attendance. hanging out with christ is pretty cool without her around. sure, he bitches about her, but i can deal with that. when she is there, they're either being cute, or there's some sort of mysterious tension between them.



i shouldn't agonize about them. maybe i'm vicariously living through christ.



more later.

no luck with bass amplification. maybe i'm looking too hard.



i've been thinking a lot since the hair space karaoke show about christ and spooky. i can't decide if i should tell christ why i'm not into hanging out with them. i'm all conflicted about what to do. i think the chris stays with her because he's afraid. it's not like he's not going to get another date. i think that it's just something that he needs to learn, since he won't listen to anyone. i was sort of hoping that mike could get through to him, but christ has been hopelessly lost in the vaginal vortex. what disgusts me most about the whole thing is that chris seems to want to move on as long as they're not together. apparently, when no one's looking, they have fights. i think that they both like the make up sex. the public appearance of the relationship is that it's cool. i'm dying to know what she tells her friends.



i probably shouldn't even bother telling christ anything because i'll be wasting my breath.

that graph is pretty gay. i should replace it with a new one. i don't think that my hotness is normally distributed. but if one thinks about it, the whole experiment is set up not to be. some people are going to just be mean to the dorks (like me) who post photos.



today is a recovery day. i've been to shows every night this week, except monday when i was being brought up to speed for red cloud.



that should be a fun project. we're calling it "bore-core" or "hard-bore" as an inside joke. i need to get off my ass and go look for bass amplification solutions.



i think that i'm just trashed from these late nights.

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i've been bad. need to do this more.



i did find something interesting, though.



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